The Silent Killer of not letting go...

Every morning, I make it my aim to wake up before my boys do so that I can spend some time with Jesus or just drink my coffee and pray in the quiet before the chaos of the day. In one morning devotion I read "Vineyard In A Desert". “ I AM NOW GOING TO ALLURE HER; I WILL LEAD HER INTO THE DESERT….THERE I WILL GIVE HER BACK HER VINEYARDS.” –HOSEA 2:14

“The desert is certainly a strange place to find vineyards……..A place that symbolizes loneliness and through which we can seldom find our way out? God knows our need for a desert experience. He knows exactly where and how to produce enduring qualities in us.”

A person, like Hosea, who goes after her lovers, whatever they may be….it sounds strange but for me it has been my emotions of grief and bitterness etc. and holding on to dear life for Brent. It’s sin. Whatever your sin may be. God says, once we feel totally hopeless and abandoned, “ I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.”

WE NEVER KNOW WHERE THE STREAMS ARE HIDDEN. We see a large stone and have no idea that it covers the source of a spring. God leads us into hard and difficult places and it is there we realize where eternal streams abide. (streams in the desert)

I have been extremely stubborn of LETTING GO of MY plans so that God can show me his beautiful vineyards for the boys and I. We always pray, “ God open this one door and close another.” Yet, if it’s not according to what we want, what I want, then we keep pursing what we think is best for us or where we feel most comfortable when there, right in front of us is this beautiful vineyard, garden waiting to be lived in and enjoyed.

We all have a hard time of letting go of something. We run after our “lovers” or shall I say sin.

For me I want to prove to the world my loyalty to Brent. That I loved him and still do. I want to prove to people I can go to school, get my degree and take care of myself and provide for my kids. It’s living in the fear of man instead of living in the vineyards HE is alluring me into. LETTING GO AND GIVING GOD ALL OF MY PLANS AND DESIRES ISN’T ROCKET SCIENCE, yet seems to be the HARDEST thing to do. Why?

Because sometimes I don’t like God's plans. Sometimes I sit and tell Him, “I don’t like what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.” But I guess that’s when FAITH IS REQUIRED… That's when you let go, let God and trust that HE does love us and desires to truly bless us even when we don’t understand HIS ways.

2 Chronicles 20:12 says, “ We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” Removing our eyes off of Jesus and placing them on our situation truly does KILL US! It is a silent killer…. A consumer. Where your thoughts and life is surrounded by fear, circumstances, sin, etc…… we lose sight.

The other day I had to get a new prescription for seeing. I wear my glasses at night normally BUT the doctor told me I needed to wear them during the day also, for watching tv driving sitting in church etc. Honestly I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I NEEDED THEM UNTIL I STARTED WEARING THEM!! It’s like a miracle hahaha.

That’s our life, we don’t know we need something until God gives it to us and then we realize, whether it hurts or is a blessing, we need it. THIS IS ALL SAID IF YOU TRUST GOD. If not there is no point in reading this blog.

He is always changing things up, making us uncomfortable, but always alluring us back to Him. It’s life…….

Today I challenge you to LET GO. Don’t silently die because you keep running away from God.

You may not even realize it. It’s kinda like when you have something in your teeth hahahaha, don’t you want someone to tell you or better yet take it out for you (horrible analogy I know!!) But God wants to do the same for us before we silently die.