Comparing Grief…..

Every so often I have someone come up to me to reassure me that they know “exactly” how I feel and “exactly” what I’m going through. They go on to let me know about their uncle’s death, their divorce, adoption gone wrong and even the death of a spouse. I have to graciously remind myself that as human beings we HAVE to express our grief and most times we may just not know what to say OR bringing up our grief to someone that is grieving allows us to feel better about ourselves.

The reality is …is that not ONE person’s grief is the same as another’s. Relationships between a mother and a son is completely different than the relationship of a wife and a husband. A loving grandfather and his beautiful granddaughter is completely different than a brother and a sister. An adoption gone wrong to a couple’s dream of becoming parents is different than a couple who thought they would spend the rest of their lives together only to end up divorced. I say all this ONLY to acknowledge the fact that even though not one persons grief is the same as the others, GRIEF IS STILL PAIN AND PAIN GOES SO DEEP in that persons grief that in a way we are able to relate to the end resulting in the same pain…grief….trials….darkness...confusion…sadness etc.

The remedy to everyone’s pain can ONLY be the same when it come from JESUS Christ Himself. His promises are the exact same to each trial and each person. His love and understanding is the same to all. (psalm 18 says HE understands our thoughts afar off) His patience, love and kindness is the same. HE IS THE SAME AND CAN RELATE TO EVERYONE BECAUSE HE CREATED EVERYONE.

As I got on facebook this morning the first picture that popped up on my homepage was a friend from years ago and her growing family. She and her husband lovingly stood next to each other along with their 4 kids and one on the way. As genuinely happy and excited I was for them I couldn’t help but at that moment just break down and weep. I began to cry out loud, “why can’t I be next to the man I love? Why can’t we be having another baby? Why can’t our ministry grow together? Why can’t my boys daddy coach their soccer team?” I was so overcome in despair that the wind was knocked out of me. As I looked up both my beautiful gifts from God came around from the corner of their bedroom. Eyelids swollen trying to open up still, stinky little breath saying, “morning mommy.” I immediately stopped and then started crying again!!! (I was obviously a wreck) Not only was my heart so broken for myself, but my heart carried so many sadness for my very own children I never thought in a million years they would have to face.

When I keep focus on my circumstances, my days are only foggy dark, sad, and angry. The Bible is true and if I believe it to be that then I HAVE TO LOOK UP. Look up to see the sun shining through the clouds, the many blessings.

At times, I do feel alone, as if not a soul in the world knows what I’ve gone through, what the boys and I daily go through and so on. (I know many can understand, but that’s just how I feel sometimes and I’m just being honest.) It feels like I’m walking though a crowd…everyone is walking forward and moving and I’m running against them and no one seems to notice. I know it’s ridiculous, but that would be the woman in me I guess, irrational.

In Psalm 20:4 it says that we can and will rejoice in our salvation. WE ARE SAVED and if you’re not then you need to contact me so I can tell you what you are missing out on. WE get to be in eternal life forever one day!!!! That is for sure something to be excited about.

“There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lords counsel that will stand.” –proverbs 19:21 We can not plan our steps because HE should be directing our paths.

IF there are sorrows in our hearts, be assured that when we get to heaven HE will wipe away every tear. The pain will never go away. It’s learning to lean on the Father when I don’t feel like it or even want to. Peter got it right when he told Jesus, “where else would I go? YOU alone have the words of eternal life.” I pray that we would not try to compare our stories to others OR even try to say what we would do in someone else’s situation, but rather we would be still, listen, pray and know that we can relate all things through Christ.

All of Us

Gods GRACE is made PERFECT in our weakness. It is when we are weak that HE gives us a supernatural strength.

At times we may not acknowledge God for this, but we must. Oh to have a broken spirit and a contrite heart.

There is NOTHING that we can give to God that HE doesn't already have EXCEPT ONE THING: our hearts. ALL of us.

Everything poured out before HIM. Then and only then will we recognize and have the perspective that we exist for HIM and HIS glory. His love is strong.


There comes a time in life where surrender doesn't seem like a very comfortable place.

Really what would you surrender or say "Lord have your way?" I don't know anything else but this place of comfort maybe a little uneasiness but when the mighty storm inside your soul cries out an intimate,

"Abba Father....I surrender, I want to know you more....." the deepest you can go is when the reality and... perspective that at the end of your day HE IS STILL GOD AND YES HE IS STILL GOOD!! He says, "I DESIRE A BROKEN SPIRIT AND A CONTRITE HEART!"

We were created to LIVE!! Provided by His only SON Jesus Christ..LIVE ETERNALLY. The things around us is not life...yes, though we live, our desperate striving to find happiness and fulfillment DO NOT come in things or even trying to be a good comes when we recognize our desperate need of the FATHER where only HE can provide pure peace..even when there is none, pure joy..only by our salvation and life forevermore.

And for that I humbly say thank you...have YOUR way in me.
Galatians 4:4-7


I thought about Peter tonight, as he anxiously got out of the boat by faith, looked at his friends, then looked at Jesus, ...only he you think..then of course it wasn't just Jesus, but the storm was there, waiting and he began sink and all he could do is cry out to the one standing in front of him ready to save him. With an outstretched arm.

My thought, "How can I even grab... your hand, YOU"RE the one that allowed the storm, how can I trust you? Are my eyes not on you Lord.....when I got out of the boat?."

Teach me Oh God to trust you with my whole heart, to know that when my eyes are on the circumstance, YOU will pick me by your righteous right hand!! When we don't deserve anything. When trusting you doesn't seem easy, but unable to deny the truth of your sovereignty and LOVE! YOU alone are God and the earth is Your footstool. Save us Lord.

What Lies Beneath

A few weeks ago I saw a picture of the Iceberg that sunk the Titanic ship. In the Picture, only the surface was visible and did NOT have the appearance of being destructive. My mind wondered, "WHAT LIES BENEATH?"

What lied beneath was destruction. An iceberg so large that in ONE hit too many lives went down with it. The bible says, "Search me O God, and see if there is any wicked way in me." –Psalm 139:24

What lies beneath many of us can be so destructive, and you may not even realize there is a giant iceberg inside that could cause it. The surface peeks out only a little so that it is recognized, yet destruction lies beneath. OUR HEARTS are these precious stones that GOD wants to mold and shape and use, We have the ability to stir ourselves where destruction is put away from us or we allow ourselves to get too close to the destruction that it even takes you down with it.

It's so much easier to surrender to go where you know is right because that’s where life is. Not only can we be destructive on ourselves but we can destroy others. There is a verse that says in Proverbs 14:12, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but it’s end is the way of death.”

Our hearts need to be broken down. We are not always right and apart from Jesus we are always wrong. Only Christ can go beneath. Whatever lies beneath needs to be removed and replaced.

Sometimes it takes suffering, humility or just plain recognition of the hardness of our hearts. The surface is not what matters it’s beneath that does.

Andrea Yim

Upcoming Events

Andrea will be speaking:

  • February 3rd-5th: Calvary Chapel South Bay Women's Retreat
  • March 31st -April 1st: Calvary Chapel High Country Women's Retreat

From Facebook

When Brent first went to be with Jesus, I didn't think I could even survive my next breath. His mom would often tell me,...

Posted by Andrea Yim on Friday, April 1, 2016